The sobriety stuff…this saving my own life stuff…this “going to any lengths” stuff…this One Day at a Time stuff…
I didn’t get it.
For a lonnnnng time. Just ask my family.
I was in out of those rooms, in and out of promises and in and out of excuses for what seemed like years. In all honesty, I don’t have an exact timeline.
All I really know, is that I definitely wasn’t one of those girls who came in, sat all the way down, shut my mouth, did what I was told and *poof*, was able to get sober on day one.
Or day two.
Or day three.
Or day hundred, whatever.
Day after day. Meeting after meeting. Promise after promise. They all went by and I still didn’t “get it”. I was convinced that all of you were totally lying about your sobriety dates, too! There’s no way anyone can be 10 or 20 or 50 years sober! No way!
So, if you’ve somehow managed to find my little page (hello!), listen up:
There are no rules with sobriety except this. Keep coming back.
No matter how many times you’ve let everyone down, especially yourself.
No matter how many times you’ve thought “how the hell did I get here…again?”.
No matter how many times you’ve thought “AA doesn’t work”.
No matter how many times you’ve thought “maybe I’m not an alcoholic?”.
No matter how many times you’ve felt like “I can’t do this; it's too hard”.
No matter how many times you may have felt like you’re not worth it.
No matter how many times you’ve started over…from day one…again.
Just keep coming back.
Give it another shot. Again, and again, and again, and again…
No matter how many times you really want to throw in the towel, grab and drink and say eff-it.
Pick up the phone instead. Go to a meeting. For God sake, breathe.
…and just keep coming back.
Over and over again, even when it’s really hard. Don’t give up. Just keep coming back.
There’s no shame in trying again
Trust me on this. You are worth...even when you don't think you are.