How did this happen?
My AA friend, John asked me "how did a nice girl like you get to a place like this?".
I was asking myself the same thing...*scratching head. But, I already know the answer.
I am an alcoholic. Plain and simple.
It took me a long time to be able to think it, to let it sink in, let alone, say those horrible words out loud and believe it.
Ouch. Those words stuck in the back of my throat until it felt as though they were choking me to death.
But here's the truth ~ when I drink alcohol, I become someone that I hate. Someone that I don't even recognize.
When I put alcohol into my system, it sets off a phenomenon of craving and I need more and more and more. I might be able to fool myself into thinking that I can handle a glass or two of wine like a lady. But, I can't. Like the old saying goes, "One is too many and a thousand is never enough."
I've now been taught that, after all, it's not the second or third or tenth drink that gets me drunk, it's the first. That first taste of alcohol..that first drink...that first glass of wine...THAT'S what sets off that craving. THAT's what makes me want more.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says on page xxvi that "the action of alcohol on an alcoholic is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and NEVER occurs in the average temperate drinker." "These allergic types can NEVER safely use alcohol in ANY FORM AT ALL".
I was no longer the average temperate drinker that I once was. It's true. I am an alcoholic.
I have an allergy to alcohol. An abnormal reaction to the substance. A physical, mental and even spiritual reaction.
That's the short explanation.
But, let me assure you, this is just the beginning of my story, because I am sober. I have found a new "happy, joyous and free" way to live...and you can too!
You have to believe me when I say that I never, in a million years, thought that I would write about this. I never even thought I'd walk through the doors of AA and I certainly never thought that I would gratefully claim my seat in the rooms.
It's only one day at a time that I grow by small steps, every day.