• Sober Blessings

Connection: That's What Makes You A Hero

A hero is one who heals their own wounds and then shows others how to do the same.

Yung Pueblo

Twice last week, I was asked about specifics of my sobriety. Like, “tell me exactly, how do you stay sober?”. How do you heal your wounds?

There are so many factors to my sobriety, but one of the biggest is connection and helping others. I spend a lot of time with other women. We talk about the hard issues and the easy ones. We share with each other true, intimate thoughts and feelings of fears and struggle, but especially of solution. We don’t allow each other to wallow in shame and guilt and anger and resentment.

We help each other and by doing so, our hearts connect; and when our hearts connect we heal. Together. Then, we pass it along.

Does this make me a hero? Nope.

I am honored and grateful to share with anyone who might need to hear my solution and my story if it helps them find their own joy. I do this because others have done exactly the same for me. After all, we can’t keep it if we don’t give it away. It’s exactly the reason that I blog, share on social media and tell my story in places like Sober Speak and The Bubble Hour.

Listen, I was a total and complete mess when I first came looking for sobriety. I was so full of shame and guilt and anxiety and ego that the light at the end of the tunnel was hidden behind years of pitch, black darkness. I watched other women at meetings, with true astonishment, at their joy and serenity and, yes, connection with each other.

I wanted that.

I really wanted that.

But, in order to get that gift, I had to reach out. I had to let my guard down. I had to stop making excuses and assumptions that “they’ll never understand”. I had to trust.

It was only then that I was able to sincerely ask for help and guess what? That wonderful community of sober people gave it to me! With love and light and laughter and even tears, these beautiful women shared with me their stories so that I could feel less alone. Less frightened. Less shame.

And, they kept sharing and loving me even when I, over and over and over again, kept relapsing. They were honest even to the point where their truthfulness was painful to hear sometimes, but their words were gifted to me and wrapped up with love.

Here’s the other thing…it didn’t matter if they had 100 years of sobriety or 100 seconds. They all had something to share. If they were struggling like me, then they shared their struggle and pain so that I could relate and feel less alone. If they had a little more time, then they shared what it was like, where they were now and, how they got there. Either way, they shared with me how they were healing their wounds and, amazingly, they thanked ME for helping them to stay sober simply by having the opportunity to share!

They are my heroes.

Today, I wake up every morning praying that God will give me an opportunity to share their gift with someone. It’s how this recovery game works. One hero sharing with another. Connecting.

How will you be someone’s hero today?

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